Ok let us take a moment to blog! It’s been two weeks and three days. How is my Spanish? Terrible! Why? Because I speak to too many American students in a day and I’ve only had three days of class. However, my everyday absolutely need to know Spanish is improving. I also understand almost everything that people say to me directly. But it’s about impossible to understand what random people are saying to one another.
Some of you might be wondering about an incident I had mentioned on facebook and twitter about a super bitchy Chilean woman saving my life. (I like to refer to her as Chilean Bitch) Well in Chile it’s more likely that you will get robbed than anything. Anyway here is how the story goes, the clubs where closing and it was time to go home. I live on the north end of Vina del Mar so I have to take a different bus than everyone else. I figured hey it won’t be bad to go alone I haven’t had any trouble since I’ve been here and heck what could possibly happen on a bus. I bet you can guess how this ended. So I get on a bus that is standing room only and in the back of the bus is a group of six Chilean guys just being insane. They were being loud, hitting on girls, and trying to start fights though the window. If I was them I probably would have been doing the same thing. Right before the bus pulled out a street fight broke out. The fight quickly surrounded the whole bus and everyone inside the bus went nuts. The guys in the back of the bus were hanging out the tiny windows swing at anyone they could. One guy outside got pined up against the rear bus door and one guy inside started kicking him in the back through the door while another one was beating him upside the head by hanging out the window. Just pure chaos! I have never seen anything like that. Also girls were out there slugging it out. It was probably a good 45 seconds of pure madness and intensity. In the end it left 3 guys knocked out bleeding on the ground. One of them looked really badly injured. He was bleeding from the ears and didn’t look like he was going to regain consciousness anytime soon. And then the bus pulls out almost running over one of the guys that was knocked out.
So there I was the only “Gringo” on a bus full of Chileans that just witnessed a massacre. The excitement of the fight rolled around the bus for awhile. The guys in the back kept trying to talk to me asking if I was having a good time and if the fight was amazing. I figured it was best if I just ignored them. After a bit the Chilean next to me asked me where I was from and I figured oh what the heck is wrong with a little small talk. So I told him and quickly the guys in the back became fascinated. (Right now the bus is about quarter way to where I want to get off. Also the bus ride is a good 25 to 30 minutes) Between my ability to understand Spanish and their knowledge of English an interesting exchange of fragmented sentences turned into a conversation. They first asked me about Michael Jackson and if I went to his funeral. No! They also told me that Brittany Spears and Sarah Palin are hot and that they all would have sex with them. Then they asked if I liked sex. They love Obama and think George W. Bush is Satan. I couldn’t understand their reasons for saying that but I don’t think it could have been for any intelligent reasons. As this level of kindergarden conversation countined I caught one of the guys slipping his hand into my jacket pocket. Hey responded with “disculpa.” Which in spanish means oh sorry I didn’t mean to do that.
Now I’m kind of on guard and I’m only halfway home. Some people get off the bus and a seat opens up and I figured if I sit down I’m less likely to get pick pocketed. As I’m sitting there the same guy that had his hand in my pocket also kept feeling my jacket and telling everyone how much he liked it and that he wanted it. I’m not scared just really pissed off that there is a huge likely hood I’m going to lose my jacket to these ass holes. Now they start telling me that I have to pay the bus driver again. I think they thought I was retarded. Next they tried asking me for my cell phone number. Which I lied and told them I didn’t have one. Then they wanted to take a picture with me but none of them had a camera and they kept telling me to use mine. Which this time I told them the truth that I didn’t have one. Ijust left out the minor detail at least not on me. Then they wanted to know what time it was. Now thankfully my watch had moved halfway up my forearm sometime during the night, so I easily tricked them into thinking I wasn’t actually wearing one. They seemed disappointed I didn’t have a cell phone, camera, or a watch on me but I was wearing a nice jacket.
With a little over 13 blocks to my stop a large horrid of people from downtown Vina del Mar get on the bus. In this horrid of people was the one of the bitchiest Chilean girls I have seen. She would have been one of the girls slugging it out in the street fight and would have walked away un-scratched. Oh and she was hot! But anyway, she got on in the back so she was a bit of a distraction while the guys figured they could maybe get lucky with her. She quickly put them all in their place slapped one and yelled at another something so intense and loud in Spanish that the whole bus went quite for about 3 seconds. Quickly the attention was back on me and instead of just the guys in the back wanting whatever was mine the whole bus seemed to want whatever was mine. Bitchy Chilean girl quickly took my defense but not without insulting me first in both Spanish and perfect English telling me that I was an idiot for being on there alone not knowing Spanish and finished with the fact that these guys were going to steal my jacket. I told her I knew that much. She told me not to be an ass.
Two quick side notes! First, there was a Chilean old man sitting in front of me and right before I got pushed off the bus by Chilean Bitch he turns around and says to me, “you don’t look scared! But you should be!” I really had the urge to punch him. Second Chilean Bitch had two friends with her. Both of them were really nice and kept trying to talk to me while Chilean Bitch was going on a rampage defending me in a fury of Spanglish that I couldn’t understand. The two friends kept trying to figure out how to make more small talk with me in English among themselves in Spanish so I would just answer them before they ever got around to figuring out how to ask me in English. Confusing! But they were nice…
Ok back to the story. So Chilean Bitch asked me where I was getting off. I really was hesitant to tell her where. So I figured I’d lie and tell her the wrong block in case any of those guys were going to get off too. In my premature level of Spanish I actually told her the truth which I didn’t realize until I was pushed off the bus! So Chilean Bitch stopped the bus for me and told me to run if the guys in the back followed me off the bus. When I stood up a few things happened. First male hands grabbed my ass. This was not to feel me up but to steal my wallet. Thankfully it was in my front pocket and there was nothing in it either. Second the bus roared with ramblings of “Gringo.” Third Chilean Bitch pushed, no wait threw, me off the bus. Fourth while I was being thrown out into the street I somehow inadvertently dodged three swing for my head. One from inside the bus. Another from a guy sitting in front of the door. The last was from the guy who first wanted my jacket. He was hanging out the small window in the back of the bus. Luckily all I felt was a nice breeze from knocks on my hair.
Overall I’m pretty happy at the outcome of this situation. I kept my jacket, watch, phone, and wallet all while avoiding any injury. Well maybe a hair or two suffered a little knocked rash. I have to thank Chilean Bitch for saving my life though. If it wasn't for her I think things might have ended a bit worse. So Chilean Bitch if you ever read this, Thank You! I also learned a few lessons. Don’t wear anything nice. Don’t wear your $10 dollar watch. Always deny having a cell phone. Don’t talk to strangers (oh wait that sound familiar) at night. Always travel with at least one other Gringo.
That turned into a lot longer story than I thought it would! Overall Chile is amazing! The night life is too. But like any place one must be careful. Viva la Chile!
Stra10
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